college dilemma...

Once in a high school student's life comes a time where he/she has to choose what course to take during college. Being a fourth year high school student, I am currently experiencing such dilemma.

A student prefers one of the two fields: analysis or memorization. Or others could be neither, or both. As for me, I prefer analysis because I hate memorizing. Memorization for me is just storing temporary data in the brain, but analysis is a permanent understanding of a subject.

Back to the topic, I can choose a course that is more on analysis. But I can't figure out the profession that will suit me after I graduate. Ergo, I have to choose a course that offers me a suitable occupation. I want to have a well-paying job that is enjoyable. I could take up BS Computer Science and be a computer programmer since I enjoy being in front of a PC monitor like my friends. But I have to look at the cons, just to weigh things out. As what the picture in my blog shows, I am wearing eye glasses. But what is now obvious there is the grades of the lenses. Honestly, they are very high. Going back to being a computer programmer, I have to be face a computer monitor for a long time in order to work. My concern is my precious blurred vision, and I mean precious. I know that this is what I have, I have to make the most out of it. Not just wasting it all away facing a computer monitor.

As we were educated with the subject of chemistry, I found it very intersting. I found it very easy to learn when you get the hang of it. Though the terminologies are very difficult, they were easy to place in my mind. It is because they can be remembered with analysis. For example (just an easy one), boiling point is the temperature at which a liquid starts to boil. It can be analyzed like this: the temperature where a liquid starts to boil is boiling point. It pretty much easier to remember than: ang epiko ng Ilocos ay ang Biag ni Lam-ang. You have to memorize that. Though it has no relevance to me at all, I have to memorize that though I know in a couple of years, no body in the batch would remember that (no offense but I just found that irrelevant in my life).

With that ease with studying about chemistry, I could choose BS Chemical Engineering as a course in college. But, (there's that but again) I don't know what kind of job I would have if I pursue the course. As what my sister tells me, "tighimo ra ka ug sabon". I know that she is justing joking to make me a little confused. But what can I do? I am unfamiliar with the professions the course would let me. I could work at MEPZ. But I don't want to. I am asthmatic too. The fumes that I would breathe in if I become a chemical engineer could cause my death. I will not be a chemist or anything that involves chemical reactions that creates fumes.

My God! I cannot choose courses that will harm my health.

physics class....

Physics is one of the sciences that are taught to high school students. It is usually taught in the fourth year level. But in the University of the Philippines High School in Cebu, it is taught in the third year level (Basic Physics) and in the fourth year level (Advanced Physics).

One can assume that Advanced Physics would be more difficult. But in my experience, I find Basic Physics harder. Maybe it is my fault (laziness), but I found basic physics very hard to be understood. It was just mainly about linear motion and projectile motion. But the formulas that were used in solving were very hard to utilize. During the first grading period, I was unable to answer more than 50% of the total questions asked (that includes the discussions, assignments, seatworks, long tests, and the periodical test).

One factor of my performance is Sir Nuñez's bedroom voice. Every physics class would be like a sleeping pill to me. I feel very sleepy during his class. That would make me very behind to the discussion. As I pondered upon my performance in the subject, I realized that I had to try harder. So I did. I practiced. I triumphed. Though I was not the best, my grade was enough to make me pass.

Now in the fourth year, I find advanced physics easier. The reason is that advanced physics is more on concepts. So I don't have to deal with a lot of equations

lingering look

The Look
Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,
Robin's lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin's eyes
Haunts me night and day.
-- Sara Teasdale

Isn't it weird that only a look remained while the kisses weren't?
One thing can be remembered if it has a signifaicant value to a person. In the poem, the kisses by Strephon and Robin maybe were just flings, or maybe just lust.
Each person looks for a someone that would be the one who would complement him/her. As you see, each person looks for someone that he/she would love who would love him/her back.
A kiss would mean 'love' to some people. But sometimes, it would just mean lust. But Colin's look was so full of love that it remained forever in the speaker.
In life, even the littlest thing may sometimes have the biggest effect. Sometimes, a single word may be remembered forever by a person because of its big effect. In the poem, Colin's gaze was so full of passion, so full of life. Or maybe Colin is someone who the speaker has unknowingly loved.

Love works in baffling ways. We may not notice it, we could have been loving someone without us even knowing it. I know that because I did, I really did. When I first became aware of loving that special someone, I felt light. I felt that I was on cloud nine. If you have loved or currently loving someone, you would agree with me a hundred percent. To be in love means happiness if you only look on the bright side. The not so bright side is the times of obstacles. But when the two people team up and work together, no obstacle in the world can break the love they share.

I am a little bit moving away from the topic back there. So, I will go back to the poem.

Strephon and Robin were two different people. Since the poem states that Strephon kissed the speaker in spring and Robin in the fall, it can be inferred that she 'loved' them at different times.

Why did I enclosed the word 'loved' in quotation marks? This is my reason:

Jest and play are synonymous. Both are related to humor, laughter, or mockery of some sort. Both have a definition opposed to seriousness. That means that the relationships of the speaker
with Strephon and Robin are just flings. That is the reason why Strephon's kiss was lost in jest and Robin's lost in play.

On the other hand, Colin's look was meant more than a kiss from flings. When noticing that Colin was looking at her, the speaker would have probably looked at Colin's eyes for Colin's look to haunt her night and day. An eye-to-eye contact shows more what words can say. It shows compassion by both parties.

A different reason for Colin's haunting look could be that Colin was someone to the speaker in the past. Colin could have been her special someone would she broke up with and regretted what she had done because she still loved him through the years.